MOUNT LAUREL - For most of us, the international sign of love is the heart. For Andrew and Rita Weber, it's the kidney.

Last year, Rita gave her husband the ultimate Valentine's Day gift: a kidney. To mark the first anniversary of their successful surgeries, she launched a Web site chronicling their medical journey.

"Valentine's Day was always a nice holiday," Andrew said, "but now, it is the holiday for us. It's the biggest holiday."

The Weber's, who were married in 2001, were the first in the region to successfully undergo a "totally incompatible" kidney transplant. They shared a love, but their blood types and every other standard cross-match necessary for a donor-transplant success came up incompatible.

"When we met, I knew he had kidney disease," said Rita, a marketing director for a software company. "I knew in my heart I was the one who would donate a kidney to him. I am healthy and athletic. I wanted to make sure he got a good one."

Medical technology, however, had yet to catch up with her desire to help Andrew, an attorney specializing in government relations.

"I cried for a week when we found out I wasn't compatible," Rita said.

In the meantime, Andrew's chronic kidney disease, diagnosed when he was in his late 30s, was causing his health to deteriorate.

Andrew thought his brother was his best chance, but that didn't work out either.

"I put my name on the kidney list and began to wait," he said. "I realized it could be years because so many people are on the list, so I began to research alternatives."

That's when he learned about Dr. Lloyd Ratner, a pioneer in the field of incompatible transplants. Ratner, who at the time was practicing at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, was in demand and out of the Webers' health-insurance network.

"I couldn't get an appointment," Andrew said. Approaching end-stage renal failure, he began preparing for dialysis.

Then in November 2002, Andrew was alerted by his health insurer that Ratner was practicing at Thomas Jefferson University Hospital in Philadelphia

"I had given up hope that (Rita) would be able to donate to me," Andrew said. "But then, (Ratner) was looking for a totally incompatible case."

Rita and Andrew underwent extensive testing and, on New Year's Eve, the call they had been waiting for came.

"We were accepted and (we) asked for the earliest date for surgery," Andrew said. "With Rita and the medical teams' perseverance, we got things done quickly and they told us February 11."

Just in time for Valentine's Day.

Prior to the surgery, Andrew underwent a two-week procedure to suppress his immune system so his body would not reject Rita's incompatible kidney.

On Feb. 11, Andrew and Rita were rolled into adjacent surgical suites. As Rita's kidney was removed, Andrew's spleen, which would create antibodies that would attack his new kidney, was removed.

"It was a happy day," she said. "I love this man and was not worried. When you're in love, you get beyond and surpass any wall or mountain. I wasn't afraid."

Now the Weber's, want to share their story in hopes of educating others about incompatible donors and organ donation in general.

They created a Web site, www.mykidneytransplant.com, to help others who are dealing with kidney disease. In the United States, more than 20 million people suffer from the disease. Some 59,000 people are on waiting lists for kidney donation.

"We want people to know there are other alternatives," Andrew said.

And, Rita adds, there is no greater gift.

"You can save someone's life and help so many people," she said of organ donation. "To me it is the ultimate gift."

Email: dcamilli@phillyBurbs.com